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Myth: Love is acquired

By:Mike George
Date: Tue,01 Oct 2013
Submitter:Maria Barry

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Millions obsess over it. Thousands have died for it. Few will find it. Even fewer will live it. You don't do it. You won't ever see it. You can't even 'make it'. It is LOVE. Infinite and yet indestructible, it is only when you understand LOVE that you will understand your life. Unlimited and yet invisible, it is only when you know LOVE that you will know your power. Do you know love? Have you discovered love? If you think you have this book will make you think again. So what is LOVE exactly and why are we so confused? Mike George takes you on a journey to the very heart of your life where love lives and has always lived. Along the way he dispels the myths about love, clearly defines and locates love, and reveals exactly why we are all so 'emotionally confused' about love.

Myth Two
“Love is Acquired”
Is that true?

The only real energy in life that cannot be acquired is the energy of love. Why? Because you are that energy. You cannot acquire your own self. You cannot acquire your own heart. You cannot acquire what you already are.
Love is not an external energy that you can ‘get’ and ‘keep’ and ‘store’ and ‘use’ on a rainy day. This truth escapes most people in their search for love. It ensures any search will always fail. The association of romance and love only serves to strengthen this myth, as it teaches us that love in life is only possible when you find the right person for you. The illusion, that when found they will be the ‘true source’ of love in your life, will keep you looking in the wrong direction i.e. outside and away from your self.

In many schools of psychology and psychiatry, there is a belief that children need to acquire love from their parents. But they don’t. They can’t. It’s an illusion to think that you can ‘get your love’ from your mother and father. You can receive it but it’s not where you get it! The parent’s true role is not to give love to the child but to ‘be love’ for the child. ‘Being love’ is prior to giving love. Being love IS giving love. Being love in every situation and in every relationship teaches, by example, the child how to be love and give of themselves in a clean, pure and unselfish way. Unfortunately most children don’t learn this because the parents themselves have learned and then teach, by example, the opposite – that love is ‘required’ and that it has to be ‘acquired’ from someone else, which may explain why so few of us ever realise love is what we are.
In teaching the child that they need a parent’s love, we teach dependency, one of the foundations of lifelong suffering. In showing the child how to be love, which is how to be themselves, we build the foundation of freedom.
Even more fatally and fatefully, parents also tend to pass on the inherited belief that if you don’t acquire the love of others you must not give the love of your self, which is the self. This is the equivalent of a death sentence for the very spirit we are. Not death in the literal sense, where an ending is created, but the death of the ability to do what we are designed to do, which is to give, radiate, share, extend, connect…selflessly.
To believe that you should not give love until you acquire love, is to attempt to kill love. This is a form of spiritual suicide born out of ignorance about love. That is not to say parents should not be loving towards their children a little, if not a lot more, than others. It doesn’t help when the parent mistakes ‘attachment’ for love. This one mistake, when passed on to us as children, will not only be the beginning of our own personal ‘true toy story’ but if assimilated, it will also diminish our capacity to love (to be our ‘self ’) for the rest of our life. Until you see the difference between attachment and love, happiness will be impossible. Until you are able to detach, love will be impossible. It’s not an easy separation in a world where ‘love’ and ‘attachment’ have been married for a long time.

Being and Doing

Although love is primarily a state of being, a pure intention, love also does, love acts, but only when the source of love, the being (the self) knows itself as ‘a being’ and not ‘a doing’! Right now, most of us learn to build our identity around something we do, on specific actions, on a position, or a title. The most common place where we identify with a position, or a title, is in an organisation or a family (parent/child or senior/junior). And, as long as we identify with what we do, we cannot know, be or give love. We are always seeing ourselves as superior or inferior and love is neither. Love neither looks ‘down at’ others, or ‘up to’ others. Which is why. those who create a superior mindset, or an inferior mindset can be uncomfortable in the presence of love.

Mike George is a best-selling author, international speaker and spiritual teacher who guides, coaches and facilitates the personal and spiritual development of people in communities and companies in over thirty countries.

Extract from 7 Myths about Love...Actually! The - The Journey from your HEAD to the HEART of your SOUL. ISBN: 978-1-84694-288-4 (Paperback) £9.99 $19.95, EISBN: 978-1-84694-682-0 (eBook) £6.99 $9.99
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